Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Grizzlies Meme: Embarrassing Losses

The Grizzlies don't just lose games, they lose in the most humiliating way imaginable, and they've been doing it for years.

Tonight's loss to the Nuggets is just the latest example in a long list of embarrassing losses that give Memphis fans an excuse to stay home from the FedEx Forum. Here are just a few reasons this loss was so humiliating:

1. The Nuggets were badly depleted: The Nuggets dressed only 8 players. 5 of those have a season PER less than 14. Every Grizzly Bear was available except for Rudy Gay and Stephen Curry.

2. The game was really important: The win gives Denver the tiebreaker should the Grizzlies and Nuggets end with the same record.

3. The Grizzlies effort was pathetic: The Nuggets largest lead was 27. The Grizzlies had 21 turnovers. Ty Lawson looked like Allen Iverson.

4. The national spotlight was shining: The Nuggets had just consummated the most anticipated trade in Carmelo Anthony history. The Grizzlies reminded everyone in the world that they're the Grizzlies.

You might be saying: David, the Grizzlies are doing ok this season. Don't you have anything nice to say? The answer is: No, I don't have anything nice to say. This shit adds up, but don't take my word for it. (Since I know you're not a close follower of the Grizzlies) Here's a sampling from just this season:
  • 86-92 loss to Cleveland: worst team in the league / all time record for consecutive losses

  • 118-123 loss to Phoenix: led by 4 with 3.7 seconds left in regulation

  • 100-98 loss to Sacramento: 2nd worst Western Conference team / led by 3 with 31 seconds / led by 1 with 1.5 seconds / drafted Thabeet over Evans

  • Swept by New Jersey: a historically bad team last season that's presently bad this season

  • 84-96 loss to Chicago: without Noah or Boozer / on national TV

  • 102-103 loss to New Orleans: led by 4 with 30 seconds left in OT

  • Losses to sub-500 Golden State, Washington, and Charlotte by a combined 23 points with Stephen Curry, John Wall, and Gerald Wallace in street clothes

In all fairness, I wasn't going to bother writing this post. My updates have been spotty this season, and I don't like being the bearer of bad news when the team is playing slightly better than terrible.

But then I read Marc Gasol's postgame quote in the Commercial Appeal: "We were a little rusty."

A little rusty? Yo dawg, you just got punked by a team that might stand between you and the playoffs, and you were a little rusty? I hate to break it you, brosef, but you grabbed 2 rebounds and fouled out in 25 minutes tonight. That ain't a little rusty.

By the way, while we're chatting, you've grabbed only one (!?!?!?!) rebound. You are seven feet tall, and you grabbed one rebound in a game in which you played 39 minutes. It's time to shake of the rust, bruddah.

Wednesday, February 02, 2011

Back to Back 3s for Zach Randolph / Marc Gasol

I will never trust a team that gets swept by the New Jersey Nets, but the Grizzlies are consistently fun to watch. Take tonight's game for instance. Late in the Fourth, with the game decided, Zach Randolph made his 4th three of the season. On the following possession, Marc Gasol made his second three of the season. (If I recall correctly, his first was a desperation 3 at the buzzer. Comment if you remember his first.)