Tuesday, October 20, 2009

The Anticipation of the Grizzlies' Upcoming Season as Compared with that of Star Wars, Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith

As the Grizzlies embark on another journey to the lottery next week, I am reminded of another important time in my life: the release of Star Wars, Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith.


When The Phantom Menace was released in 1999, there was excitement. Fans lined up in anticipation. But after ten or eleven viewings, a disturbing feeling that this movie might not be good began to set in.

A similar disappointment followed the excitement prior to previous Grizzlies seasons.

Many analysts predict Thabeet's career, much like Jar Jar's, will end soon after it begins.

When Attack of the Clones was released 3 years after Phantom Menace, my excitement was mitigated by a nagging feeling that Star Wars prequels might actually suck. Nevertheless, I hoped that replacing Jake Lloyd with Hayden Christensen would save the series.

Today, that premise seems as laughable as our hopes that Marc Iavaroni would save the Grizzlies.

Iavaroni's love for Padme was his undoing.

After 1 and 2, we knew 3 would suck, but there were still certain events we had to see. We had to see Obiwan Kenobi fight Anakin Skywalker. We had to see the transformation of Anakin into Darth Vader. And we wanted to see Darth Vader kick Jedi ass across the galaxy.

By now, we had a large enough sample to know that George Lucas was going to fuck it up. We just didn't know the extent or exactly how.

For example, we didn't know he was going to make all the villains look like pussies, limit Darth Vader's screen time to 5 minutes, destroy 30 year old plot lines, and undermine his own efforts to transform a 900 year old muppet and a 7 foot tall, bipedal dog into serious characters.

Similarly, even though we know the Grizzlies will suck, there are certain events with have to see this season. We have to see how AI and Z-bo will fit in. We have to check in on the development of Mayo and Gay. We need to assess how skinny Marc Gasol compares with thick Gasol, and we need to learn if Thabeet is a bust.

As with episode 3, we don't know exactly how it's going to play out. This team is unlike any to wear a Grizz uniform before.

However, we do know that the guy in charge is likely to screw it up.

Just as George Lucas showed his hand when Jar Jar first uttered: "Ooh mooey mooey I love you!", so did Heisley reveal the Grizzlies' fate when he traded Pau Gasol for money.

Which elderly, rich man has done more to ruin his respective franchise?

There is one difference between Revenge of the Sith and the upcoming Grizzlies season. When the credits rolled at the end of the Sith, we knew it was over.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Congratulations on giving us yet another reason to care: to see if the Grizzlies can be as entertaining as your blog!
Tantese

Sam said...

You left out this similarity - every aspect of the prequels seemed to have been designed to scam people into buying merchandise. Likewise, the Grizzlies off-season moves (including the announcement this week of a new alternate uniform) appears to have been designed to scam people into buying merchandise.

David Jones said...

I thought about the $$ angle. Both owners are driven by profit at the expense of product.

But I don't feel scammed. I'm proud to own my double-bladed lightsaber and my AI Jersey.

John said...

First off, I think you just used this topic as an excuse to post a pic of half naked Hayden Christensen. Also I am going to have to disagree that I do feel like a sucker for wasting my money on all the star wars merchandise. I don't even know where it is anymore, maybe my parents' garage? It reminds me of the time I bought two soccer style Gasol jerseys at the forum over x-mas.

David Jones said...

When I read your comment, I thought you were going to say I just used this article to talk about my actual favorite topic, how bad the prequels suck.

I can't believe you thought your Mace Windu cup was a waste...

John said...

my mace windu cup was free, no regrets there. its the 30 action figures that i feel may have been a waste, if only i had the foresight to invest my money in millenium falcon ornaments.

Jonesy said...

Why would anyone who watched Episodes 1 & 2 bother to watch Episode 3?

That's just retarded.

George has stuffed your money into his neck and it makes him laugh.

David Jones said...

Are you saying that anyone who is a fan of the Grizzlies at this point is an idiot?

Jonesy said...

I like Grizzly Adams

Jonesy said...

I like Grizzly Adams

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