The NBA Lockout: Where Amazing Happens

It's time to end the 2012 lockout of DavidLovesTheGrizzlies. I have come to an agreement with myself that I will keep 100% of blog related income which comes to $87.38 over 5 years.

In my first post back after 7 months, I choose not to discuss this awesome lockout in a Wojnarowskian piece condemning owners' tactics, ridiculing the players' tactics, and condemning the lawyers' lawyering.

Nope, I had a productive time off - moving to a new apt, getting married, and buying a new couch - so I thought I'd be productive in my first post back and help the League come up with a new marketing slogan for the 2012-2013 season.

Of course, my efforts quickly spiraled towards bitterness, which turned into sadness, then to anger, and then back to bitterness. But that's life as a Memphis Grizzlies fan!

I dressed up as the NBA Lockout for Halloween!

Anyway, as I was researching ideas, I realized several recent slogans were appropriate and could be reused easily:

• "Where Will Amazing Happen This Year?" (Maybe in the Minnesota District Courtroom!)
• "Last Season was Last Season" (I'm confused.)
• And whatever slogan the League used for those commercials where all the players' heads were inflated to 10x their normal size. (Savvy move headed into the lockout.)

Meeting these nice German ladies lifted my spirits. We chatted about what a great year Dirk had.

Since this is a blog, I wanted to come up with my own ideas, so I did what any respected Blogger would do and polled my friends for ideas. Here's what we came up with:

5. The NBA: Where Amnesty Happens

4. The NBA: Can't We All Just Get Back to Hating LeBron?

3. Where Will A Luxury Tax Paying Team Use Its Biannual Exception This Year?

2. The NBA: Cuz You Aren't Really Watching Hockey Right Now, Are You?

1. The NBA: Proving Games Really Don't Matter Until April Year After Year

Honorable Mention goes to my buddy Curt who suggested we reuse the Memphis Grizzlies' 2006-2007 slogan "Tell your kids they're going to Dunkyland."

Remembering that slogan briefly made me forget that we have already missed over 2 weeks of games.

If you've got a better slogan, please add it to the comments below. I love this game!

Believe Memphis

When I went to work on Friday, I told friends that April 29th would be either the best or the worst night of my life. The first Game 6 in the history of the Grizzlies had all the makings of another Grizzlies letdown. Within 2 seconds of defeating the top-seeded Spurs in Game 5, the Grizzlies blew a defensive possession and the Spurs made improbable shots to force a 6th game.

Losing the series after leading the Spurs 3-1 and leading Game 5 by 3 with 2 seconds remaining would fit perfectly into the Grizzlies' 10 year narrative of unprecedented losing and unmatched embarrassment.

But the Grizzlies won.

These Grizzlies are unlike any Grizzly before them.

For the first time in franchise history, the Grizzlies exceeded expectations. For the first time in Grizzlies playoff history, the team embarrassed someone else. For the first time in Memphis history, fans have more to be proud of than a well-played game here and there and some delicious BBQ nachos.

For once, the Grizzlies seized an opportunity and changed their narrative.

These Grizzlies' narrative is about winning now and winning later. It's trading Thabeet and locking up Zbo. It's selling out the FedEx Forum. It's the volume of emails, texts, and phone calls that prevent me from watching games on DVR delay. It's the Facebook message from someone I haven't spoken with in 6 years congratulating me as if I had done something other than endure 10 years of loyalty to a despicably bad sports team.

The Grizzlies are finally good.

All Heart, Grit, Grind

It's been 5 years since the Grizzlies were last swept out of the playoffs. At the time, the Grizzlies set a record for mediocrity, being swept for the third consecutive season (out of 3 total playoff appearances).

On Sunday, Memphis returns to the playoffs as an eighth seed, battling the four time NBA champion San Antonio Spurs, who completed the 2010-2011 season with the second best record in basketball.

Yet somehow, I am encouraged. While there's little hope that the Grizzlies' season will extend beyond the next two weeks, there is something different about these Grizzlies that inspires.

Something that made this season unashamedly entertaining despite modest results.

It's All Heart, Grit, Grind.

So here I am in my Tony Allen Tshirt, in Napa Valley California, purchasing a celebratory beverage to drink when the Grizzlies win their first playoff game in franchise history.

Go Grizz.

Grizzlies Meme: Embarrassing Losses

The Grizzlies don't just lose games, they lose in the most humiliating way imaginable, and they've been doing it for years.

Tonight's loss to the Nuggets is just the latest example in a long list of embarrassing losses that give Memphis fans an excuse to stay home from the FedEx Forum. Here are just a few reasons this loss was so humiliating:

1. The Nuggets were badly depleted: The Nuggets dressed only 8 players. 5 of those have a season PER less than 14. Every Grizzly Bear was available except for Rudy Gay and Stephen Curry.

2. The game was really important: The win gives Denver the tiebreaker should the Grizzlies and Nuggets end with the same record.

3. The Grizzlies effort was pathetic: The Nuggets largest lead was 27. The Grizzlies had 21 turnovers. Ty Lawson looked like Allen Iverson.

4. The national spotlight was shining: The Nuggets had just consummated the most anticipated trade in Carmelo Anthony history. The Grizzlies reminded everyone in the world that they're the Grizzlies.

You might be saying: David, the Grizzlies are doing ok this season. Don't you have anything nice to say? The answer is: No, I don't have anything nice to say. This shit adds up, but don't take my word for it. (Since I know you're not a close follower of the Grizzlies) Here's a sampling from just this season:

• 86-92 loss to Cleveland: worst team in the league / all time record for consecutive losses
  
  
• 118-123 loss to Phoenix: led by 4 with 3.7 seconds left in regulation
  
  
• 100-98 loss to Sacramento: 2nd worst Western Conference team / led by 3 with 31 seconds / led by 1 with 1.5 seconds / drafted Thabeet over Evans
  
  
• Swept by New Jersey: a historically bad team last season that's presently bad this season
  
  
• 84-96 loss to Chicago: without Noah or Boozer / on national TV
  
  
• 102-103 loss to New Orleans: led by 4 with 30 seconds left in OT
  
  
• Losses to sub-500 Golden State, Washington, and Charlotte by a combined 23 points with Stephen Curry, John Wall, and Gerald Wallace in street clothes

In all fairness, I wasn't going to bother writing this post. My updates have been spotty this season, and I don't like being the bearer of bad news when the team is playing slightly better than terrible.

But then I read Marc Gasol's postgame quote in the Commercial Appeal: "We were a little rusty."

A little rusty? Yo dawg, you just got punked by a team that might stand between you and the playoffs, and you were a little rusty? I hate to break it you, brosef, but you grabbed 2 rebounds and fouled out in 25 minutes tonight. That ain't a little rusty.

By the way, while we're chatting, you've grabbed only one (!?!?!?!) rebound. You are seven feet tall, and you grabbed one rebound in a game in which you played 39 minutes. It's time to shake of the rust, bruddah.

Back to Back 3s for Zach Randolph / Marc Gasol

I will never trust a team that gets swept by the New Jersey Nets, but the Grizzlies are consistently fun to watch. Take tonight's game for instance. Late in the Fourth, with the game decided, Zach Randolph made his 4th three of the season. On the following possession, Marc Gasol made his second three of the season. (If I recall correctly, his first was a desperation 3 at the buzzer. Comment if you remember his first.)

Tony Allen's Block Party

It has been an eventful 2011 in the Land O' The Grizz.

Two noteworthy events included 1) The Grizzlies' 19 point win over the Lakers in LA, and

2) an altercation between shooting guards Tony Allen and OJ Mayo over a debt owed to Allen.

According to Yahoo, Mayo owed Allen losses from a card game called Boo-Ray (or Bourré) and missed Tuesday's game as a result of injuries (ie a busted face) from the altercation.

According to the box score, Allen put together his best game the season, highlighted by what ESPN Writer John Hollinger called the "best defensive possession of [the] entire season".

This was enough for me to end my blogging silence. First, here is a look at the play to which Hollinger refers:

Next, here are highlights from a recent Boo-Ray game:

It is easy to see how this game can escalate.

And since we're on the subjects of embarrassing Pau Gasol moments and Tony Allen blocks, we may as well rewatch this for the millionth time.

By the way, here is a second look: